Political Humor and Jokes
Political Humor and Jokes
Political humor is an old and respected form of humor. Political jokes range from raunchy to tame and we have attempted to include only tame political humor here.
To whet your appetite, here is one of my favorite lines from Will Rogers, the master of political humor:
“I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.”
Following are several political humor categories. If you have a favorite political joke, story, or quote that you would like to see included here, please contact us.
Political Quotes Here are some hilarious famous quotes from famous people. By the way, we have created a separate page for the political quotes of Will Rogers.
Political Stories These funny stories and political anecdotes are some of my favorites.
Presidential Humor Presidents can be funny too. We hope you recognize the names.
Before you check out the pages above, we offer the following three funny stories, both wringing with political humor.
Dear IRS
Enclosed are my 2004 Tax Return and payment.
Please take note of the attached article from USA Today. In the article, you will see that the Pentagon paid $171.50 for hammers and NASA has paid $600.00 for a toilet seat.
So, please find enclosed four toilet seats (value $2400) and six hammers (value $1029). This brings my total payment to $3429.00. Please note the overpayment of $22.00 and apply it to the “Presidential Election Fund,” as noted on my return. Might I suggest that you send the above mentioned fund a “1.5 inch screw?” (See attached article…HUD paid $22.00 for a 1.5 inch Phillips Head Screw.)
It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year. I just saw an article about the Pentagon and “screwdrivers.”
Signed,
A Faithful Taxpayer
The Night Watchman
Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of a desert. Congress said that someone may steal from it at night; so they created a night watchman, GS-4, position and hired a person for the job.
Then Congress said, “How does the night watchman do his job without instruction?” So they created a planning position and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, GS-12, and one person to do time studies, GS-11.
Then Congress said, “How will we know that the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?” So they created a Quality Control position and hired two people, one GS-9 to do the studies and one GS-11 to write the reports.
Then Congress asked, “How are these people going to get paid?” So they created the following positions, a time keeper, GS-09, and a payroll officer, GS-11, and hired two people.
Then Congress asked, “Who will be accountable for all of these people?” So they created an administrative position and hired three people, an Admin. Officer, GS-13, an Assistant Admin. Officer, GS-12, and a Legal Secretary, GS-08.
Then Congress said, “We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cut back our overall cost.”
So they fired the night watchman.
A Lost Democrat and A Lost Republican
A woman in a hot air balloon realized she was lost.
She lowered altitude and spotted a man in a boat below. She shouted to him, “Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”
The man consulted his portable GPS and Replied, “You’re in a hot air balloon approximately 30 feet above a ground elevation of 2346 feet above sea level. You are 31 degrees, 14.97 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude.”
She rolled her eyes and said, “You must be a Republican.”
I am,” replied the man. “How did you know?”
“Well,” answered the balloonist, “everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of your information, and I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve not been much help to me.”
The man smiled and responded, “You must be a Democrat.”
“I am,” replied the balloonist. “How did you know?”
“Well,” said the man, “you don’t know where you are or where you’re going. You’ve risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise that you have no idea how to keep, and you expect ME to solve your problem. You’re in EXACTLY the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it’s MY fault.”
